Angelia said I sounded too fierce when Hao Ting needed help in chasing some guy away.

Duncan said he only expected the change in me to be temporary. But as time pass, he realised that I am changing more than before.

For many things I do nowadays, I neglect how others feel.. with the self-justification that it doesn't kill anyway.

I really really shouldnt change myself because of an idiot.

And guess what.. After Teng Whye mentioned something about him today.. I realised.. he lied to me AGAIN. Even after I am just a friend to him now. He just cant stop telling lies. Maybe only to me. As usual, it sounded so true then. As usual, I was stupid enough to be soft-heartened.

What else can he tell besides lies?
Probably a word of "sorry" after it is revealed.
Otherwise, "I am truly sorry" that is not reflected in his actions.

Why did I still bother to find excuses for him.
Why did I still bother to think of the difficulties he had / is having.
Why did I still bother to behave normally in front of him.
Why did I still bother to befriend him.

It's really not fair to some of my other friends. Why am i treating them in such unfriendly manner because of him.

I dont want to be like him. I want to mean that I am sorry. I must change my attitude towards them. I shouldn't take them for granted.. just because they are not female. Ok, I think it sounds so stupid.

This sem, my OG has not met up for dinner for more than 3 times yet. That number could have been easily hit within a week if it was in the past. In fact, it was a daily routine. I am really sorry for that.

My "mental health" have been improving generally...before today. Not blaming Teng Whye of course. He didnt mean it.

Never been so hurt by someone before.
Never imagined someone like him to exist in the world.
Never expected myself to be so stupid.
Never regretted so much.

Thanks to all who have been lighting up my life..
Thanks to all who have been listening to my complaints..
Thanks to all who have been asking me how I am every few weeks..

posted at 2:07 am.